Amazon apparently knows me well, because it kept suggesting a $20 night light to me. BRIGHT WAVE NIGHT PROJECTOR, it said. 8 COLORS/BRIGHTNESS MODES, it said. And said, and kept saying, showing it to me every time I wanted to buy Advil, or a shoe, or deodorant in bulk (it's been quite humid, this year!), or those clippers that are supposed to just be for your cuticles. BUILT-IN MUSIC PLAYER, it said...that means speaker. It's a light, and it's a speaker, and eventually I cracked, raw unbridled curiosity got the better of me and I bought it and it arrived and it was the most fantastic thing ever. I kept inviting people over just to use it on 'em.

And...and..I USED ALL THE BRIGHTNESS MODES. I DID. AND I DON'T REGRET A THING.